Cultural Suicide Squad

What R-Rated Superhero Movies Say About Our Culture


The other day, I looked through popular movies on Amazon and checked out Suicide Squad. What I found, to put it into lefty terms (which I only do for amusement, not because I value their dumb fuck ideas), the movie is “problematic.”

The premise is that a bunch of villains are being let out of prison to do a suicide black-op. I hate the fact that this is based on actual practices engaged in by the government at every level, in the sense that we routinely cut deals with criminals, even serious offenders, to achieve government ends that are often not in the public’s best interests. I have not seen the movie (I refuse to give my money to these liberal cocksuckers), but I assume we are supposed to feel some sort of sympathy for the villains. I don’t. Their villains. Fuck ‘em and feed ‘em oats. Most importantly, I have a real problem with a movie featuring comic book characters being rated R and containing sex and profanity.

Those who know me know that I am the exact opposite of a prude. That being said, I do see a separation between the world as adults know it and the world as kids should know it. Part of my complaint stems from the fact that something that will automatically appeal to kids is completely unsuitable for them in both content and morality. But my distaste for this cinematic abortion goes beyond that. If it is full of sex, graphic violence, and profanity, kids were not really the target audience, adults were.

Grown-ass men need to not be watching movies about comic book characters.

There is no exception to this. If you are an alleged adult and you want a movie about superheroes that caters to your adult tastes, you are thief, a loser, and a selfish pussy. I make no exception. Comic book heroes are for kids. The violence is supposed to be limited, the sex alluded to in a middle-school crush kind of way, the profanity non-existent. We adults had our time to look at comic books. That should have been over the moment you started high school. I’ll give you until you were fifteen if you were unable to get laid as a freshman, but that’s as generous an exception as I will allow. Pass the torch and let another generation of kids have their comic book heroes on their terms.

What does it say about us as adults if we insist on holding on to childish things well into adulthood, hoarding them to ourselves to the point we deny kids the joys of childhood?

If you are the sort who is okay with this, I’ll tell you what it says. It says “I’m a big, selfish pussy who should live in my mom’s basement and spend my days eating Funyuns while I watch incest porn.” Get off the Superheroes and get a real, goddamned grown-up life.

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